Follow the Energy

One of the patterns we see often in our work with women in midlife is a very real set of dueling feelings.

Many women assume this tension is personal or unique to them. In reality, it reflects a very real and well-documented stage of adult development.

The developmental psychologist Erik Erikson described adulthood as unfolding through a series of psychosocial stages. In midlife, the central developmental task becomes what he called Generativity vs. Stagnation.

Generativity is the drive to keep growing — learning, creating, contributing, and staying engaged with the world. It shows up through curiosity, mentoring, creativity, community involvement, and a desire to continue evolving.

Stagnation is quieter. It happens when life begins to repeat itself. The same routines, the same patterns, the same rhythms that once made sense but no longer feel particularly energizing.

Erikson believed this stage emerges in midlife because the earlier decades are largely about building — careers, families, homes, and stability. But eventually the central question shifts from What am I building to How am I continuing to grow?

That shift can feel uncomfortable because there is no longer a prescribed structure. The work becomes more self-directed.

At Live better longer, we often talk about one of the most reliable compasses in this stage of life: energy. Energy is information. It shows where life is expanding and where it may be contracting.

Generativity rarely requires dramatic reinvention. It often begins with small signals — curiosity about something new, the desire to learn a skill, interest in contributing, or the pull toward experiences that feel energizing rather than draining.

A few questions to think about:
What energy or curiosity inside of you is pulling forward right now?
Where might comfort or familiarity be keeping things the same?

Follow the energy. It often reveals exactly where life is asking you to grow next.

💙 Collins, Jill, Susan